According to WikiHow (2013), there are simple steps to follow in order to be polite
1. Be Gentle
2. When in doubt, observe others
3. Be nice
4. Start a conversation by asking questions about the other person
5. Shake hands
6. Know the proper dinner etiquette
7. Have a laugh which shows you are having fun, without being loud
8. Be graceful and show elegance
9. Be aware that etiquette and manners vary depending on the cultural region you are in
However, (im)politeness is more complicated because it based on social norms that vary depending on the company, environment, and location. These factors can dictate what is polite.
IMpoliteness is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary (2013) as
- A discourteous manner that ignores accepted social usage.
- Not having or showing good manners; RUDE
 |
| Politeness |
or etiquette. It is a culturally defined phenomenon, and therefore
what is considered polite in one culture can sometimes be quite rude or simply eccentric in another cultural context.
In American society, politeness can be identified with
- The use of PLEASE and THANK YOU
-Addressing elders with respect and a title.
-Nonverbal gestures including shaking hands
and opening doors as seen in the figure Politeness
However, (im)politeness is not only about acting kind, but about saving face which is shown in Brown and Levinson's face theory. Brown & Levinson published their theories in 1987 called Politeness. They believe that "an individuals self-esteem motivates strategies of politeness" (Stanford University 2011, pg. 1).
An individuals self-esteem can be described as face.
Negative face: the basic claim to territories, personal preserves, rights to non distraction. In other words, get out of my BUBBLE.
Brown and Levinson had insight when assessing politeness, but the problem with their original theory is that it only dealt with kindness.
RED FLAG:
Brown and Levinson had insight when assessing politeness, but the problem with their original theory is that it only dealt with kindness.
RED FLAG:
- B & L face theory only focuses on individualistic society.
- They never introduced the theory that people are intentionally impolite.
- "Underplay the influence of other factors, especially the presence of third parties, which we know to have much more profound effects on verbal interactions" (Stanford 2011, pg. 3).
Going beyond FACE theory:
- A prescriptive social norm- "the rules of behavior enforced by social sanctions"
- A descriptive social norm- based on individuals' experience
Social norms can exist on a smaller, more local scale among communities within a greater social context. Brown and Levinson rely merely on face and fail to examine politeness within a collectivistic group. Also, broader social norms from a dominant culture may be imposed upon less dominant cultures that do not adopt these standards.
To clarify:
Individualistic cultures are characterized as valuing individual needs and goals and include the U.S., Australia, Great Britain, Canada, the Netherlands, New Zealand, and Italy.
Collectivistic cultures stress the importance of cohesion within social groups, and in some cases, the priority of group goals over individual goals. It often focus on community, society, nation or country. Pakistan, India and Japan are all considered to have collectivistic cultures.
It is important to understand that a collectivistic culture can exist within an individualistic nation. This specifically relates to the African American community within the United States.
They have their own language referred to as ebonics or the AASC that is often misinterpreted as being impolite or rude because it is not understood by others outside of the community.
Our class interviewed African American women using first order impoliteness, or folk interpretation. This relies on the experience of the African American women to educate us about what it is like being immersed in the community. It gives first hand knowledge of what African Americans find polite and impolite in their culture. However, this method is largely overlooked, therefore second order impoliteness is used more often. Second order impoliteness is based on scholars interpretations. Using second order impoliteness hinders ones understanding of impoliteness across cultural variations because it does not delve into the culture, but rather observe it from the outside.
To clarify:
Individualistic cultures are characterized as valuing individual needs and goals and include the U.S., Australia, Great Britain, Canada, the Netherlands, New Zealand, and Italy.
Collectivistic cultures stress the importance of cohesion within social groups, and in some cases, the priority of group goals over individual goals. It often focus on community, society, nation or country. Pakistan, India and Japan are all considered to have collectivistic cultures.
It is important to understand that a collectivistic culture can exist within an individualistic nation. This specifically relates to the African American community within the United States.
They have their own language referred to as ebonics or the AASC that is often misinterpreted as being impolite or rude because it is not understood by others outside of the community.
Our class interviewed African American women using first order impoliteness, or folk interpretation. This relies on the experience of the African American women to educate us about what it is like being immersed in the community. It gives first hand knowledge of what African Americans find polite and impolite in their culture. However, this method is largely overlooked, therefore second order impoliteness is used more often. Second order impoliteness is based on scholars interpretations. Using second order impoliteness hinders ones understanding of impoliteness across cultural variations because it does not delve into the culture, but rather observe it from the outside.
